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Heather’s Turkey Tale (True Story)
The brothers were notorious. Their names, Bacchus (v-hob) and Enigma (brother)….but the nickname B&E twins came out of their habit of being able to figure out any cupboard, shelf or drawer and child proof locks became a way of life, but sometimes they managed figure those out too…..hence the (B)reak & (E)nter twins.
One afternoon I heard them playing in the office (the extra fridge was located there at the time). They were slamming the cupboards, locking each other in them and generally making a lot of noise but knowing their limits I was letting them blow off steam while I got Thanksgiving dinner ready. At some time I noticed that things had got very quiet. Not a good thing with the boys but they’d been going at it hard and long so maybe they’d fallen asleep….or maybe not. I heard a loud crack and then a scuffling sound….then a scraping sound…silence…dooking and more scraping. Time to check.
I walked into the office to find the fridge door open and the turkey that was thawing in the fridge..gone!! I dashed down the hallway in time to see the wayward bird disappear under the bed. Yes, the brats had stolen the whole damn bird. No, it wasn’t huge but still at least a 12 to 15 lbs bird.
Other than some tooth marks on the wings and legs there was no damage on the bird and it was even still on the plate. Removed the ferrets, told them they were little shites and took the bird to the kitchen washed it and tossed it into the oven.
The Night Before Christmas (Ferret Version)
‘Twas the night before ChristmasAnd all through the houseNot a creature was stirringNot even a mouse.The ferrets were nestled all snug in their cage,Dreaming of treats, bones, and whole prey.With one in the hammock, and one in my lapWe all settled down for a long winter’s nap.When out in the yard there arose such a clatterI flew out of my bed to see what was the matterAway to the window I flew in a dashTripping on ferrets and a poorly placed stash.The moonlight shone on a scene for my eyesI could barely contain my gasp of surpriseFor there in the yard, in the snow and the iceWas a little red sleigh pulled by tiny deer-mice.When the small furry driver jumped out of the sleighI was too surprised to know what to sayThe driver, from whiskers to small furry pawsCould only be THE Santa Claws!He called to his deer-mice one at a timeOn Squeaker and Buttons and Jingle and Thyme!We have treats to deliver of the furriest kind,The night is so short, we quickly must fly!They flew with most agile flicking of tailsOver street lights and through the tallest porch railsThe small furry driver encouraged them onDancing and skittering to the roof from my lawn.With dainty small paws they landed so softI pulled in my head and ran to the loftFrom there I could see behind our tall treeWhite whiskers appear from inside the chimney!He was dressed in all fur from his toes to his noseThe kind that only naturally growsOver his shoulder he carried a big crinkly sackThe kind that holds feathers, balls, and knick-knacks.His eyes how they gleamed, his fur looked so softHis whiskers so long, his tail held aloftHis small little mouth was drawn up in a smirkBehind which good-natured mischief did lurk.The end of a chicken wing, he chewed in his teethHis small scratchy tongue had licked off the meatHe had a small face and a plump furry tummyThat shook when he laughed at something secretly funny.He dooked and he danced as he neared the treeAnd I couldn’t help giggling a little with gleeA wink and a twitch of his whiskers did tellThat he still would leave presents with feathers and bells.He made not a hiss as to the stockings he flashedWhere he filled them all up with toys to be stashedThen silently he turned with a lick of his noseAnd giving a dook up the chimney he rose!He hopped in his sleigh and called to his teamAnd the tiny deer-mice took off like a dreamAnd into the night I heard ‘midst the scurryMerry Christmas to all – the Skinned and the Furry! Author: Katt Rall